In a secret lair beneath the Golden Gate Bridge lurks a gaggle of humanoids—territorial mutants not in contrast to The Hills Have Eyes, every with a particular “look” not in contrast to the Village Folks, and presumably additionally robots? They emerge with one aim: to terrify the kids of San Francisco. The title stars of Neon Maniacs have quite a lot of potential, which sadly goes unexplored. However the cult movie, launched in 1986, nonetheless manages to entertain.
Regardless of a couple of establishing photographs of the well-known bridge, full with some strategic fog horn sound results, Neon Maniacs seems to have been shot nearly totally in Los Angeles—forgivable, since it’s a must to assume many of the movie’s modest finances went to its particular results. Directed by Joseph Mangine and written by Mark Patrick Carducci, Neon Maniacs has one recognizable solid member: Leilani Sarelle, who a couple of years later performed Sharon Stone’s jealous girlfriend in Fundamental Intuition. Right here, she’s Natalie, who’s the one survivor after her pals resolve to have an outside celebration for her in a park adjoining to Neon Maniacs turf. Worst birthday ever! Then the Maniacs begin stalking her, intent on mopping up their unfinished enterprise.
Swiftly looped into this drama are Steven (Alan Hayes), who’s been crushing on Natalie from afar and eventually makes his transfer as soon as all her different pals are useless, and Paula (Donna Locke), a youthful teen obsessive about monster motion pictures (a tomboy, she wears an Alien baseball cap all through the film), who attracts the Maniacs’ ire when she tries to catch them on videotape outdoors their hideout.
As with many horror motion pictures of this period, the mother and father are all checked out (Natalie’s of us are on a European trip), and the cops don’t take the youngsters’ admittedly wild-sounding tales significantly, regardless of quite a lot of proof that means one thing isn’t proper. Like, as an example, quite a lot of lacking teenagers, and a criminal offense scene that’s fully clear aside from scattered puddles of an unidentifiable slime.
Issues come to a head at a highschool battle of the bands—one is a Steven-fronted group that feels like a Rick Springfield tribute act; the opposite seems like a Motley Crue video come to life—when in crash the Neon Maniacs, who simply mix in as a result of it’s “Freak Frolic Night time” and everybody is dressed like a freak. Happily, um, the Neon Maniacs soften after they come into contact with water, and Paula’s capable of finding a hose within the nick of time.
It’s a fairly foolish plot that doesn’t hit many curveballs, however there’s a really distinct sense that Neon Maniacs had aspirations of being a way more detailed and epic film. It opens with a really solemn voice over—”When the world is dominated by violence and the soul of mankind fades, the youngsters’s path shall be darkened by the shadows of the Neon Maniacs”—that teases some nice mythology to return. Then, within the opening scene, a man making an attempt his luck fishing close to the Golden Gate Bridge stumbles throughout what appear to be buying and selling playing cards displaying off the Neon Maniacs in menacing poses, clad of their signature outfits: the Samurai! The sadistic physician! The man with the axe! The opposite man with the rope! The half man/half ape! The alligator-skinned cyclops!
Who took these pictures, and what objective these buying and selling playing cards may serve, isn’t defined, however that’s a small matter in comparison with the truth that we by no means be taught something concerning the Neon Maniacs. As an illustration, the place did they arrive from? Had been they created by some unseen mad scientist? Why do they reside in a secret compartment beneath a bridge? Why are they so kill-crazy? Why, when one in all them loses an arm, does it seem like a robotic arm? What’s the sludgy slime they depart behind? Why do they go all Depraved Witch of the West after they get moist?
These are questions that solely the late screenwriter Carducci—who went on to co-script and obtain a co-story credit score on Stan Winston’s 1988 creature characteristic Pumpkinhead; he additionally wrote a 1987 episode of Tales From the Darkside—could have recognized the solutions to. Little doubt unique intentions for Neon Maniacs concerned going a lot deeper with the monsters, however you may sense this wasn’t a easy manufacturing. One huge signal: in the event you watch the credit, you’ll see almost all the particular person Maniacs had been portrayed by a number of actors, which suggests a stop-and-start taking pictures schedule.
Nonetheless, in the event you don’t thoughts not realizing precisely what’s up with the Neon Maniacs—or struggling via Steven’s excruciating taste of rock n’ roll (we by no means discover out who wins the Battle of the Bands, come to consider it!)—Neon Maniacs is a surprisingly agreeable oddity effectively worthy of its cult standing. The Paula character elevates it into that meta class of “monster motion pictures that includes characters who love monster motion pictures,” and there’s a sure goofiness that goes together with hideous creatures who can’t face up to water being chased by a bunch of teenagers with squirt weapons.
Neon Maniacs arrives on Shudder December 9.
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